i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
