he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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