I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
