is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
