I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
