Pregnant stripper...not hot.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
