8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
