So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
