So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
