Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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