Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
