In America we eat man semen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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