I wannas sexs uuuuu
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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