Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
