he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
