Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
