So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I met the friendliest cop last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
