Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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