I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
