Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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