His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
