If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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