how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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