what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
