I want to have your abortion
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
