Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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