So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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