I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
