..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize