I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
