so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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