Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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