oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
