just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Panties = found
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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