i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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