Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
