when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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