Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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