Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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