any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Liz is crying about burritos again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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