I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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