..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
