Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
