There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
