Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it glows. i had to have it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
