I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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