I look better un-naked...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Text me some of your sweat
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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