Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
