Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
