you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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