i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
