the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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