the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
