Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
