Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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