I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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