He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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