i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We have started to decorate penises.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
