this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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