She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
