how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
