I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
