so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize