The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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