remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
