My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize